Toadies Quotes
Things that the Toadies have said, things that have been said about the Toadies.

"Word up." -- Clark Vogeler

"I'll be back in two shakes" -- Todd Lewis

"I just want the entire list to know that Mark Rez is no one's bitch." -- Mark Rez

"I just heard:

God is dead!

Satan's in charge now!

Everybody PARTY!!!" -- Mark Reznicek

Ryan: I made $2000

Mark Rez: Did you spend it on beer and drugs?

"This is a song about cutting up the girl that you love...I know you've all wanted to do it" -- Todd before "Happy Voodoo"
"This is our scary song." -- Todd before "She Burns"
"We have to be at work real early...we're not gonna get any sleep...we're gonna feel like shit..." -- Todd before a show in Dallas.
"Fuck Funk" -- Written in Duct Tape on Lisa's amp.
"Here's a song about my favorite person in the world" -- Todd before "I Hope You Die".
"Here's another song. You may recognize it as such.
  • - Todd Lewis
    Fan: Hi Todd *seems you're the one who replys you come on the computer often?* ; I was wondering if you were ever gonna come to Michigan again cause I didn't about the last time you did.Also when are you gonna record a new album? I REALLY REALLY love you guys and I have all of the soundtracks you've done (I think) Well thanx........bye
    Lisa: I would answer you, but you didn't ask me.
    Mark: Yeah, me either.
    Clark: i think we're going to be playing, wait.... oh sorry, you were asking todd, never mind.
    Todd: I did come on my computer...once.

    Fan to Todd:  You guys kicked ass tonight, you're the best!
    Todd:  Why don't you buy a t-shirt or somethin?

    "I think girls in bands like it when you call 'em "hootchie mama"..." -- Mark

    "Todd L. Smells Like" - Written by next to a suspiciously explicit drawing he drew on Chris Gerty's T-shirt at the Buzz Monster Mosh in Houston, October 31, 1997.

    "Clark is kinda shy...He's new and he's only 15" - Todd

    on 11-06-97 as fans are screaming for TYLER Todd says: "why? you've heard that song a million times. Anyways Tyler is about a fag."

    "I'm a funny fucker" - Mark

    "What do you mean $20 for a dance, I sold a MILLION records...." - Mark to a dancer at the Mens Club in Dallas

    "I'd like him so much more if he'd just stop.... stop..... you know......breathing" - Lisa on her friendship with Gavin

    "The red knight sucketh....bring me more ale" - Lisa at Midievil Times

    "I'm going to stop smoking August first....let's pinky swear" - Clark caught in another lie.....

    "We're not one of those kind of bands who can write on the road 'cause it's not like we can whip out the acoustic guitar and get a good song. We have to have the amps cranked up to stage volume and play like that " - Lisa

    "They let us park there [Possum Kingdom Lake] now for free since the hit" - Clark

    "Dammit we're gonna have fun!" - Todd

    "Mark wears leopard skin panties" - Lisa

    "So this song is the most direct Brainiac rip off that we were able to accomplish with our limited abilities. This is a song called "Mine"." - Todd

    "This is a song called "Push the Hand"....It's about...........hand" - Todd

    Corpus Christi 07/06/96
    "Thank you very much to the lame limp-dick cock-sucking mother fucker
    that hit me in the head there. You are a very small, SMALL genitalia of
    a man. That's what you are there. Fuck you, you cock-sucker. The rest of
    you guys rock, thanks alot."  - Todd Lewis

    Back in May, when Mark was hosting the morning show on "The Edge" in Omaha, nebraska, someone called in and said:
    "I just heard that song [Beauty school dropout] what's that all about? It sounds like 5th graders playing in a garage..."
    Then, Mark, of course, came back with something smooth: "How's YOUR band doing?"

    Around Mid-September the Foo Fighters played a show in Dallas, and as they had done back in 1995, dedicated a song to the Toadies.

    "One of my favorite things about seeing Brainiac, was to fuck with them" -- Todd

    "Budweiser!" -- Clark

    Caller: What makes a band stick together?
    Lisa: (thinking)....spit...and ducktape.

    "I fuckin' hate Los Angeles, California, goddamit." -Todd Lewis

    One time back in 1991, the Toadies went to a Pixies concert, and gave the band a copy of their Dig a hole/I hope you die" single. Kim Deal said, "You guys sound like us!"

    "The Pixies are still the greatest band ever" - Lisa

    "We're from Texas, so we're kinda slow." -Todd Lewis

    "Hi, I'm Lisa Umbarger, and this is Adam Ant. And this is as close as he'll get to my lap." -Lisa Umbarger

    AN PRODUCER: What's your favorite movie?
    TODD: Breakfast at Tiffany's
    LISA: No it's not, it's Raising Arizona, because you always wanted to 
    steal a baby and make it a roadie.
    TODD: Yeah.  We used to have a monkey, but then that got expensive.  
    LISA: So we're just going to have to find a baby.
    DARREL: And that's our favorite movie.

    "We have big chickens in Texas." -Todd Lewis


    CRIAG WELCH: Um.  We have a special guest.
    MIKE GIBSON: Yeah, you can't throw anything at Todd, or we'll get in 


    on Alternative Nation
    TODD: That was Everclear, and that song is not about my girlfriend.
    MARK: The next video is from really good friends of ours...(Todd and Mark 
    glance at each other)...Bush, with "Glycerine".

    "Mark doing what he does best...playing drums and drinkin' beer. And he's all done playing drums." -Todd's cousin

    "It's a fluff video." -Lisa on "Possum Kingdom" video


    BEAVIS: Do you think they really killed someone to make this video 
    (Possum Kingdom)?
    BUTTHEAD: They shoulda killed the people who made it.


    ANDREW HUFFSTETLER: Brutal Juice is the greatest band in the world.
    JOSH (FROM EARL): Hey, well Toadies aren't bad.
    ANDREW: Toadies are ok!  Hey, did you get a load of Todd Lewis' ass, he's 
    got a great ass (pushing video camera to Todd's ass)

    "My parents were Davidians....'were'. oh, yeah, they're still alive!" -Todd Lewis

    "Die Christian scum!" -Lisa Umbarger

    "My parents were heavy duty Baptists.........that's why I'm so pissed off at the world." -Todd Lewis

    "So, are you the next New Bohemians?" -ROCK WARS Interviewer

    "Use the Ladies Room, it's much cleaner." -Mark Reznicek

    "Jughead can really wail on those drums." -Mark Reznicek

    " cat likes their tone." -Clark Vogeler

    "mmm, blah blah blah...blah blah..and then you forget the words, and you end up looking like a big stupid motherfucker." -Todd singing "Luck be a Lady"


    FAN (at Wetlands): Every song is good!
    MARK: Damn right.       

    "I was the guitarist for the Toadies in their heydey." -Darrel Herbert

    "Darrel's the kind of guy who gets up at 6 am and jogs." -Mike Gibson

    "Toadies suck ass" -backstage wall inscriptions

    "Here's another pretty song. Because I'm feeling pretty tonight." -Todd Lewis


    TED WOOD (talking to Todd): Come down Jesus and save me!  Ahhh, he never 
    works.  So I just alcohol!  And the real drugs.
    TODD: Speaking of real drugs. (looks at Mark)


    TODD: You ready for the big rock show?
    TED WOOD: Yeah.  I'm fixing my guitar, but I don't know what's wrong with it.
    TODD: Did you try putting strings on it?  
    TED: No strings!  That's it!  How could I overlook something so basic?  


    LISA: Hi, I'm Lisa of the Toadies
    TODD: And I'm Todd, also of the Toadies, we're the coolest members of the 

    "Die cheeseheads, die!" -Lisa Umbarger


    DARREL: Our video was directed by Tomas Mignon, who's the most...
    MARK: ...broke guy...
    DARREL: broke guy on the planet.
    MARK: he really knows how to gamble that money away
    DARREL: especially if its ours

    "Toadies won some best punk band award. They beat us up pretty bad." -Bad Religion

    "The record label doesn't know what to classify us. They tried sending us off as a metal band." -Lisa Umbarger

    "People thought we were a vampire band and when we got to Florida, all these vampires kept showing up to our shows." -Lisa Umbarger

    "This song's called Waterfall. It's about a waterfall." -Todd Lewis


    RLINE CALLER:Who do you think has been the most influential person on 
    modern music?
    TODD:....PJ Harvey?


    "Not in Love, why did the Toadies make a really bad song sound worse?"

    RLINE CALLER: Are you pyromaniacs, or what?

    "I hate when people try to read into your lyrics. Besides, I'm usually ashamed of what I write, so the more garbled and unintelligable, the better." -Todd Lewis


    RLINE CALLER: What did you do the first time you heard yourself on the radio.
    TODD: I pulled the car.
    LISA: And he weeps like a baby.

    "More vocals?...AHHHHHH!!! How's that?" -Todd Lewis


    AN DIRECTOR:What type of music do you listen to?
    LISA: I listened to Devo.  And I was retarded.  But that's not why I 
    listened to Devo.

    "Pogo-ing is the next big thing!" -Clark Vogeler

    "It's too late to listen to heavy metal. What happened to 'dont rock the jukebox'?" -overheard at a Ft. Worth Fire game while Toadies are blaring

    "Clark just turned 21. And I'm 26." -Mark Reznicek

    "Thanks for not throwing anything at Todd" -Mike Gibson

    "Consider it considered." - Mark Reznicek

    "This is all I have for now, but I'm sure there will be much more coming soon...if you have anything at all to add to this page, feel free to Email it to me."