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        Off Topic Board >> Creativity Forum >> My poem
        
(Message started by: nate08 on Aug 11^th, 2006, 1:03am)

Title: My poem
Post by nate08 on Aug 11^th, 2006, 1:03am

Hey guys, I write a lot of poetry and songs and I thought I'd type up one of my earlier poems and as I was typing it, I realized it could be a song real easy. You can see its about a girl that means a lot to me and blah blah blah, so feel free to tell me what you think.

"Ashley"

called you up,
talked it out
can't ever tell what you thinking about
If your and angel,
It's hard to tell
my life was shattered the day you fell

you say,
Nothing
But it means,
Something
you never let me in
wanna try it again?

I wanna make this work,
tried it all before
left me broken and my heart sore
I'm not what you want,
I know because I've tried
being myself for you kills me inside

you say,
Nothing
but it means,
Something
you never let me in
wanna try it again?

alone and standing,
watched you pretty face walk by
everything you said before was a lie. . . .

Title: Re: My poem
Post by tkc1989 on Aug 11^th, 2006, 4:38am

wow that's really really good :o i especially like the lines:

'If your and angel,
It's hard to tell
my life was shattered the day you fell'

Just i think the rhyming and the rhythm of those lines was just really pleasing in some way.

Title: Re: My poem
Post by nate08 on Aug 11^th, 2006, 10:55am

I agree thats probably my favorite part of the poem as well

Title: Re: My poem
Post by Shannon on Aug 11^th, 2006, 11:36am

That could easily be a song. You're very talented. We have so much talent on this board it's wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

Title: Re: My poem
Post by nate08 on Aug 11^th, 2006, 2:53pm

Thanks Shannon that really means a lot :)

Title: Re: My poem
Post by nate08 on Aug 14^th, 2006, 2:17am

Heres another one I did and you can tell what its about so. . . .

"What a Shame"

God has spoken,
called him by his name.
Filled his lungs full of life,
As he does to all the same.

But before his knows,
Life is not his choice.
An unjustice fullfilled,
No one to hear his voice.

Say it isn't so,
His life is gone.
How Ironic,
There live's go on.

Never given his one chance,
For this their souls they trade.
Why can't anyone see,
The difference he could have made.

God sees this,
Through his loving eye.
To this he lowers his head,
And begins to cry.

Title: Re: My poem
Post by yrtigress2 on Mar 17^th, 2007, 5:07pm

WOW!!! I am speachless!!!Thanks!!!