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   Author  Topic: My poem  (Read 956 times)
nate08
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I wanna wake up where you are

   
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My poem
« on: Aug 11th, 2006, 1:03am »
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Hey guys, I write a lot of poetry and songs and I thought I'd type up one of my earlier poems and as I was typing it, I realized it could be a song real easy.  You can see its about a girl that means a lot to me and blah blah blah, so feel free to tell me what you think.
 
 
 
"Ashley"
 
called you up,
talked it out
can't ever tell what you thinking about
If your and angel,
It's hard to tell
my life was shattered the day you fell
 
you say,
 Nothing
But it means,  
 Something
you never let me in
wanna try it again?
 
I wanna make this work,
tried it all before
left me broken and my heart sore
I'm not what you want,
I know because I've tried
being myself for you kills me inside
 
you say,
 Nothing
but it means,
 Something
you never let me in
wanna try it again?
 
alone and standing,
watched you pretty face walk by
everything you said before was a lie. . . .
 
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tkc1989
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Re: My poem
« Reply #1 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 4:38am »
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wow that's really really good Shocked i especially like the lines:
 
'If your and angel,  
It's hard to tell  
my life was shattered the day you fell'
 
Just i think the rhyming and the rhythm of those lines was just really pleasing in some way.
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nate08
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Re: My poem
« Reply #2 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 10:55am »
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I agree thats probably my favorite part of the poem as well
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Shannon
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Re: My poem
« Reply #3 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 11:36am »
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That could easily be a song. You're very talented. We have so much talent on this board it's wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
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nate08
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Re: My poem
« Reply #4 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 2:53pm »
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Thanks Shannon that really means a lot Smiley
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nate08
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Re: My poem
« Reply #5 on: Aug 14th, 2006, 2:17am »
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Heres another one I did and you can tell what its about so. . . .
 
"What a Shame"
 
God has spoken,
called him by his name.
Filled his lungs full of life,
As he does to all the same.
 
But before his knows,
Life is not his choice.
An unjustice fullfilled,
No one to hear his voice.
 
Say it isn't so,
His life is gone.
How Ironic,
There live's go on.
 
Never given his one chance,
For this their souls they trade.
Why can't anyone see,  
The difference he could have made.
 
God sees this,  
Through his loving eye.
To this he lowers his head,
And begins to cry.
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yrtigress2
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Re: My poem
« Reply #6 on: Mar 17th, 2007, 5:07pm »
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WOW!!! I am speachless!!!Thanks!!!
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