Don't Call It A Comeback
The New Album, Tour and Future of the Beastie Boys from my Perspective

cj with bill adler at the RunDMC expo dec bill worked at def jam in the 80 with Run and Boys
By CJ Hood

Posse in effect , we're doin' the deuce/do the Beastie Boys still got the juice? Only a few weeks into 2004 and it has already been labeled "the comeback year" for the Beastie Boys (for several reasons). Some of these reasons are obvious to the music world/newbie fan while some reasons are not. Sure they've basically been out of the game for six years, but why else should these 3 bad brothers you know so well be concerned about their comeback bout? What does Justin Timberlake, Brittany Spears, 50 cent and (gasp) Eminem have in common? If you said they all suck, you're smarter than I thought. However, the real answer is that they arrived on the scene and did work since Hello Nasty dropped way back in '98. Since the record buying public is made up of mostly middle school aged kids I doubt they a) remember who the Beasties are or b) give a fuck about a bunch of rappers who don't rhyme about the bling or c) both a & b. Despite my source's claim that the new album's all hip-hop (i.e. no punk or instrumentals), I find it hard to believe that middle school kids are gonna make this a platinum record. Hence, it's up to the Beasties already established legion of fans to buy this record, request it's videos and show up at their shows. The latter is not inconceivable at all, UNLESS the jews with attitudes abandon their recipe of success only to alienate their loyal legion of Beastiemaniacs.

In 2003, the Beasties tried to mock Iraq's Minister of Information by putting out "In a World Gone Mad" and trying to pass it off as a rap single. This was the final straw for this camel's back. The other "straws" in this haystack included: a PC Hello Nasty CD, a quasi-political "Alive" and all the shitload of political/religious rants that have been coming out of the Beastie camp since '96. Are these signs of what's to come on this new record. If I was a betting man (which I am), I'd say yes. This new album will be: all hip-hop, their last, politically correct and an easier listen than Kid's Bop #4!

Yes it will have it's shining moments, funky beats and witty catch phrases, but it will only be a mere shell of IC, CYH, PB and LTI. You'll love it if you were born after 1980, but if you're old enough to remember the disco decade than dust off your old CD's cuz you'll miss that old school formula! It's no surprise that this will be the last record and tour for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I think this last outting is gonna be a hybrid of an arena/club tour. They'll hit the arenas to make their loot and do the clubs do bring it to their peoples. Nonetheless, I'm predicting a short tour mainly in the U.S.. The instruments will appear, but don't expect them at every show. Since this is it, expect a lot of surprises, cameos and maybe even some tracks done live that we haven't heard in years or ever. This aspect of their game maybe the Beasties highlight in 2004 and make up for the lackluster album. So what IS up with the Beastie Boys future? Well, a lot! But, I'm not gonna touch upon their political/religious ventures cuz I'm a bboy not a political high priest. And I won't talk about how Adrock will go on to make more elevator music or how Mike D. will produce Sibo Matto's (sp?) next record....who give's a fuck?!? "I'm strictly hip-hop, I'll stick to Kid Capri!" But what I WILL talk about is the future of the Beastie Boys. I believe the BBs will continue touring off and on similar to how Run-DMC did up until JMJ's death. We even might hear a new track if the right mood or (more likely) benefit strikes. But most importantly, the Beastie Boys memory will live on in their music, on the net and thru fans' efforts such as this fanzine. A lot of heads confuse my realistic views as negativity.

My point of view is based on the past 18 years (of being a Beastie Boys fan). This week alone I had 2 dreams about the Beasties....I'm sick with this shit!!! Nothing would make me happier then if all I said was wrong. I want this new album not only to be a good rap record, I want it to be a good Beastie Boys record. I want this new album to build on the foundations of old school hip-hop and not political/religious ideals. I want the Beasties to kick Eminem's ass in record sales. I want a follow up record by 2006. However, based on the new attitudes of these 3 mc's , I don't think it really matters what this fan or any fan of the 'boys wants. Case in point, check out the new gear that the newly revamped website has to offer. How many of those anti-gun shirts would sell if they didn't have the word "beastie boys" on it??? Whether the Beasties leave their game on a high note like John Elway or embarrass themselves on their way out ala Mike Tyson style remains to be seen. After almost twenty years of constantly reinventing themselves one question remains to be seen. Who are the real Beastie Boys? We know they aren't the beer drinking homeboys from '87 or the acid dropping hipsters of '89. But are they the cool cats of '92 or the fly guys of '94? Is the PC guise of '98 (to present) who they really are or is this just another phase of their evolution? For the sake of hip-hop and the Beastie Boys legacy, let's hope so.